Here’s a scenario families across the nation have experienced in some way. One parent needs help with daily activities of living. It’s okay though as the spouse or another family member fills the role of a family caregiver and providing that care.
Out of the blue, something happens to that spouse or other family member. Suddenly, the older adult is left alone with no one to help out. The remaining family members juggle their schedules to try to make sure someone is there each day. Personal and sick time get used up and time off becomes unpaid.
Even if you qualify for FMLA, it only lasts so long. You may not be able to afford weeks of missing work and a regular paycheck. The financial strain is impacting you. If you sit down with your parents and have care plans in place, all of this stress and frustration are avoidable.
Questions You Need to Ask
You and your dad need to have an honest discussion about his strengths and weaknesses. He must tell you what is becoming harder to do independently.
For example, he used to do the laundry without a problem. Lately, the walk down to the basement is harder for him to manage. He may have fallen and is hesitant now or the weight of the laundry hamper is too much to balance when walking down steep stairs. What could be done to make it easier?
Your dad’s last eye exam led to the discovery that he has cataracts starting. His doctor said he needs to limit his driving to the daylight hours. He can’t drive before or after the sun rises or sets. He needs someone to drive on stormy days, to get to the 65-plus shopping hour at his local grocery store, or when he has early morning appointments.
He might realize he needs help but worries about how it works. He’s afraid that he’ll lose his independence and freedom if elderly care aides become a part of his daily routine. You need to emphasize that caregivers are there to help and not take away his independence.
Be Clear That Your Dad’s Opinions Are Most Important
Make sure he knows that his opinion is the most important factor in determining elderly care plans. If he wants help with transportation but not with personal care, you’ll make sure that his wishes are followed as much as possible.
There are going to be limitations, and he needs to understand that. If your dad fell while getting out of the shower, you’ll do what you can to keep him safe. If he falls again, he’s going to have to relent and let someone offer him a steady arm when he steps in and out of the shower stall or bathtub.
When was the last time your family talked about your dad’s plans to age at home? Have you ever had that discussion? Delaying talks about elderly care can make it harder to get care when the need arises. It’s an important talk to have in advance so that you’re informed and ready to arrange elderly care when it’s time.
If you or an aging loved-one is considering Elderly Care in Finksburg, MD please contact the caring staff at Help at Home Services, LLC today. (443) 275-1524
- Four Ways to Turn a Walk Into a Workout - June 7, 2021
- Activities to Do Together in May’s Family Wellness Month - May 19, 2021
- Making Time for Yourself Doesn’t Mean You Don’t Care About Dad - May 10, 2021